You Are More Than the Scale




 On this journey I want to be as real as I can so here’s a confession… I’m obsessed with my weight! Like seriously obsessed! It is always on my mind and consumes my thoughts. So much so that getting ready for an outing, catching a glimpse of myself in a mirror or getting on the scales can send me into a deep depression that I have to fight against. Every time I leave my house I am thinking about how I look. When I go to work, when I get groceries, when I walk my dogs, when I ride motorcycle…it is always there. Seeing pictures of myself are the worst! At times it can be crippling and creates such an insecurity. I’m good at faking it but it definitely gets the best of me. It affects all areas of my life, my relationships, my job, my confidence everything! 

I don’t remember a time that this hasn’t been the case. It doesn’t matter my size, big or small and I have been both, it is always there, a demon that won’t go away. I weigh myself in the morning and a lot of time before I go to bed to predict if I’ve lost weight that day.  

Is this healthy? Absolutely not! I am 100% defined by my weight. I need to remember I am more than the number. I am a wife, a mother, a friend, a daughter, sister, aunt.  I am hard working, loyal, respectful, supportive, a good listener amongst many other things. That number doesn’t make up who I really am yet I let it control me, I let it define me and I let it destroy me! 

How do I overcome this? That I do not know. It’s more than just the solution of losing weight, it’s breaking the bondage and control it has on my mind and heart. 

To start, I am going to ditch the scale. I’m only going to allow myself to step on the scale once a week. I’m going to speak kindness and positivity to myself. We can talk kindly about others and tear ourselves completely apart. Speak kindly to yourself. Honestly it feels weird at first but it will get easier. 

For those of you who share this struggle, remember you are so much more than lbs and more than a number. You are a beautiful human! You can do all sorts of amazing things. Talk kindly to yourself. Write down the positives and who you really are! 

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